So apparently, the life of an Essex reality star goes something like this: appear on TV, become famous for stereotyping your county, come up with some silly sayings, and then launch T-shirts on the back of said stereotypes and sayings at one of London’s most prestigious stores.

Yes, Joey Essex from The Only Way Is Essex (lest you need reminding), is launching a collection of T-shirts exclusively at Selfridges which, frankly, is either the funniest thing we’ve heard all week or the saddest.

The eight designs feature slogans like “Shutt uuup!”, “Team Reem”, “No Carbs Before Marbs” and, our personal favourite, “Don’t be Jel be Reem”.

They’re available in various colour ways and retail at £30 – and, if you’re really into your reemness, you can meet the man himself at a secret location later this month.

The first 200 people to purchase a T-shirt online will be entered into a prize draw to win one of five pairs of tickets to meet Joey on July 28th.

So, if you’re into that sort of thing, we suggest you head over to Selfridges now – the tees have just gone live here.