Hairdressers spend a lot of time on their feet and work hard to make a living. While they cut, color and style away to work their magic, they listen intently as clients chatter on and on about themselves. Based on their always pleasant expression and unfazed demeanor, you’d think that there’s nothing that can get under their skin. Well, actually, you’d be wrong!

Rosy Salon Software recently conducted a survey in which various salon pros were asked what truly annoys them about their clients. The answers were then crafted into funny ways to test their limits. Naturally we’re making fun of things but sadly, these sarcastic scenarios are all based on real-life stories …

What Schedule?

Your salon appointment is really more of a suggestion than an absolute commitment. If you’d rather not show up, don’t, and skip the call to cancel … your hairdresser would rather that you just wander in whenever you want. Trust me, they are there waiting for you!

If you do come in, late or otherwise, on the way to the salon chair dawdle for at least 15 minutes. Then have a seat and snap your fingers to get the attention of your hairdresser so they can get started. Oh, but wait … did you remember to the loo first? Grab some coffee, or maybe even check out what’s new in the retail area? It’s okay, go ahead, your hairdresser will wait for you. It’s not like they have a schedule to keep or anything.

And, for a little added merriment, demand to get out on time and whine about it the entire length of your appointment. Rest assured that they will absolutely give you your best, or most unique, haircut ever. Score!

It’s All About You

In the salon, remember that the world absolutely revolves around YOU. To prove it, ask to change seats, demand a neck and foot massage, and then speak up so the person in the very back can hear you! Opt for only the most controversial topics of conversation and then make it your goal to convert everyone in the salon to your way of thinking.  

Relentless Challenges

Hairdressers love challenges so be sure to do your part to keep them on top of their game. Point out one thing in no less than 12 different photos that you want your hair to look like. The bangs in one photo, the layers on another but the one-length blunt cut of another … you get the picture. Never mind if they contradict each other or if your hair can even do what you are asking. The more demanding the challenge, the more unique the end-result. Aim high!

For your hair color, the goal is to go from abyss black to platinum during the course of your regular appointment, so make that request when you arrive. Just make sure that you really, and relentlessly, stress that you don’t want ANY yellow tones. Also firmly demand that your hair  or human hair wigs not be damaged in any way! If you don’t tell them, and use a firm tone, who knows what will happen?

Ample Samples

Another thing, if you are getting color done, bring in a unique sample to color match. It’s a fun little game that hairdressers love to play. Bring in your hamster, shave your dog, snip away at some stranger’s ponytail … whatever it takes to show them that perfect shade. Or better yet, just try to describe it verbally. They’ll love that fun little twist.

Take Control

The best way to get what you want from your hairdresser is to tell them how to do their job. Suggest which tools to use and how to use them, how to layer hair, how your ends should be trimmed and so forth. They’ll absolutely appreciate your directions and relentless attention to detail.

Pleasurably Pleased

Show the shampoo person how much you love, love, love that head massage. Start off soft and low and then burst abruptly into loud porn star moans. They’ll take it as a compliment … trust me!

Expressive Much?

During your salon service be sure to bounce around like a bobble-head doll while chattering away to your hairdresser or better yet, on your cell phone. Create a moving target to really test their skills. Never mind the uneven haircut or unique color placement. It’s a small price to pay for cat-like salon reflexes!

TMI

Salon pros love to hear about your personal life so take the time to ‘fess up about your latest affairs or describe in intimate detail about that pesky rash or recent bowel movement. The more graphic the detail, the better!

Love Connections

They also love to be hit-on so think of it as a challenge. Don’t let existing relationships, eves-dropping bystanders or even possible assault charges get in the way of that fun foursome you’ve always dreamed of.

Stay Mysterious

Want to really make a hairdresser’s day? Simply say nothing when your service is done, just get up and walk out. No “thank you,” “I love it,” “great job”… nothing. Nada, zilch! It will make them try that much harder the next time you come in.

Finally, as far as leaving a tip … forget about it! It’s not like they have a family to feed or anything.