When you’ve finally got to the point in your relationship when you can look at your partner and think ”I could do life with you”, maybe it’s time that you should think about getting engaged. It’s not easy to find somebody in your life who can be as serious with you as they can be silly with you.
It’s also not easy to find somebody who you love that could be that way with you. So, when you do find it, the best thing that you want to do is hold onto it.
Getting engaged is a big deal. It’s the promise and the agreement that you are going to spend your lives together. It’s not something that you do on a whim, well it shouldn’t be, and it’s not something that you do more than once in most cases.
Of course, life does get in the way sometimes and people do have multiple marriages. However, when you are choosing engagement rings and thinking about wedding venues, you’re not thinking about the possibility of divorce in a decade.
Are you ready to be married? Because if you’re not ready to be married, don’t say yes if you asked. If you are ready for marriage, there are some things that you should consider before you say yes and dive deep into life with this other person.
1. You have a full life. While you want to be happy with the person that you marry, you have to remember that you need something to make you happy as an independent individual. Relying on somebody else to make you happy is a lot of pressure, and it’s a great way to end a marriage very quickly. You have to support one another and hold one another up. You have to listen to them on the days where you can’t even stand them breathing near you, and you have to be able to have something outside of your marriage to bring to the table. When you both have full lives, it means that you are able to come together with your relationship at the centre and everything else around it. You’re confident, and you don’t expect getting married to fix problems. You expect that getting married is going to enhance your love. And it will.
2. They are enough. The person that you want to be engaged to and you want to be married to for the rest of your life is enough for you. You know that you’re going to grow together, which means you both know that you’re each going to change. Instead of being scared about those changes or worried that your love will change, you’re excited to go with them and support them and see them through the rest of their life. You’re excited to make sure that you two are together in every aspect, and you’re excited that they are enough for you. That’s a wonderful reason to say yes.
3. It’s the basics that count. You know that you’re ready to be engaged when even just reading the paper and having breakfast and doing the chores in the house make you happy. Being married isn’t all dating and wooing and swooning. Being married is hard work. You might have children one day which is going to dilute your time together, and if you can get through that, you can get through pretty much anything.
4. You are busy watering your grass. You’re not wondering what else out there. You’re not considering going back to the dating pool again. You’re not thinking about who you can sleep with and who you can have fun with because you’re bored. The person you’re already with is doing everything for you that they could possibly do and that you could possibly need. You’re happy with the prospect of being engaged because you’re watering your own grass and you’re not seeing whether it’s greener on the other side.
5. You can talk about anything. You should never say yes and get engaged to a person that you can’t talk about anything with. If there are things you are afraid to talk about, or topics you don’t find easy to cover, you need to decide whether they are actually the right person for you. Getting engaged and getting married means that you’re gonna be relying on this person for the rest of your life for emotional support. If you can’t talk to them about the things that bother you then is that supportive? Make sure you can talk freely.
